The season of excess, anxiety, stress and depression. The season of unmet expectations and the pressure of perfection. The season of relapse...and rock bottom.
For many people substance abuse begins as a way of coping. But that coping mechanism quickly takes on a life of its own. The using soon creates consequences which cause new problems and more stress and anxiety. Normal issues such as money, family, work and relationships are amplified for those who struggle with addiction.
All of this is magnified when the holidays roll around. Family disfunction is the rule, not the exception. Almost all families are touched by conflict, rivalry, grudges or hostility. It’s actually normal, yet we’re told our lives are supposed to look like a Lifetime movie or the social media posts of our “friends”. Those without close family may experience an increased sense of isolation, loneliness and depression. Stress and resentment that builds up over the holidays can lead to rationalization: “I DESERVE a drink.”
Families are even fracturing over differences in caution protocol. Many are foregoing gatherings out of concern for loved ones...the very same loved ones who are pressuring them to attend. When my cousin told her 85-year-old dad she wasn’t coming to Christmas dinner he called her a selfish brat. There’s a bitter irony in that...and I don’t use that word lightly. He adores his daughter and Christmas just won’t be the same without her. She adores her father but won’t risk his health for the sake of tradition. They’re not speaking.
And most families are touched by someone’s alcoholism or addiction. The damage and disappointment caused by addicts has ruined countless holidays. Attempts to hide addictive behavior can lead to stress that actually intensifies it. Familiar places and situations can trigger cravings, old patterns and underlying issues at the root of the addict’s problems.
This year is particularly difficult for those struggling with addiction. The CDC is reporting that 2020 will go down as a record year for drug overdoses, yet another grim milestone. According to EHS Today, alcohol sales are up 250%, mental health crisis calls are up 800% and suicides are up 1,000%. A Pandemic within a Pandemic: Substance Abuse Rises Amid COVID | EHS
But the pandemic’s dark cloud may have some silver linings. Fewer holiday parties equal less driving, specifically less drunk driving, which equals fewer DUIs. Stay-at-home orders and travel bans may relieve financial pressures and work stress. And limits on holiday gatherings place limits on potential family feuds.
Yes, staying home can lead to isolation, depression and substance abuse. But it doesn’t have to. There are thousands of 12-step meetings on line. Time off from work allows no-guilt binge-watching. There are fun and creative ways to have distanced gatherings. On Christmas Eve my dad and I stood on his balcony while my sister and her family sang Christmas carols from the terrace below. Self-care is the key to maintaining your recovery, and to finding joy...in this usually stressful season...in this very unusual year.
’Tis the season of giving. And remember that your recovery is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.
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