The Multi-headed Monster

Alcohol. Drugs. Food. Sex. Shopping. Tobacco. Gambling. Porn. Electronics. Even exercise. 

Substance abuse is not the only addictive behavior and addictive behaviors are hard to put down. Especially for an addict.

The Greeks and Romans tell of a figure known as the Hydra. The Hydra was a serpentine water monster with multiple heads, “the exact number of which varies depending on the source”. The Hydra possessed the gift of regeneration; when you tried to cut off a head, at least one more would grow back in its place. And, according to mythology, one of those heads was immortal.

That’s addiction. I would try to put down the drugs but my drinking always took me back...to the places I could get drugs and the people who would provide them. And it shattered any resolve I’d had to say no. Then I tried “marijuana maintenance". Even more ridiculous. I not only craved alcohol, I craved food, another addiction. So I would abuse food when I was trying to avoid alcohol and drugs. And the easiest way to curb food cravings? You guessed it...more alcohol and drugs.

I sometimes say that I was born, like many addicts, with “the disease of more”. They say “one drink is too many and a thousand is never enough”. I tried. I tried more than once. Sometimes I white-knuckled during January; often I suffered through Lent. I told myself that if I could quit for a month, or better yet six weeks, I couldn’t possibly have a problem.

I finally reached the point where I couldn’t get drunk but I couldn’t stay sober. The window of “pleasantly buzzed” got smaller and smaller and finally closed. I was drinking because I had to, not because I wanted to.

So I got help. And one day at a time I stayed abstinent. Nevertheless the monster was still lurking. New addictions raised their ugly heads. I had put down the substances but still needed to address the issues that were driving the behavior and get to the heart of those issues. Support and validation from trusted role models gave me confidence and hope. Telling my “story” to a trusted confidante helped me put aside old beliefs and recognize triggers. Honesty and accountability helped me widen that gap between impulse and action. 

Back to the Hydra...and that one immortal head. That head is our true addictive nature and the core of our disease. We need to go deep and we can’t do it alone. Facing old traumas, learning new responses and building a toolbox for wellness will break unhealthy patterns and lay the groundwork for success.

There’s only one way to kill the multi-headed monster. Stop cutting off those heads...and stab it in the heart.