Park Avenue to Park Bench

Addiction doesn’t discriminate. No socioeconomic status, upbringing, opportunity or privilege provides immunity. Every age, race, gender and income level is vulnerable. Addiction strikes Harvard as well as the homeless. Privilege, however, often goes hand-in-hand with denial. Furthermore, it can provide many ways for the alcoholic or addict to hide or mitigate the consequences of their behaviors - a dangerous and sometimes deadly trick. Who is the victim of this trick? Friends, family, colleagues and even the law, but more importantly the addicts themselves.

I had a good friend whose marriage ended because of her problem drinking. She joked that for her birthday she was given a new house...and divorce papers. That should have been a wake-up call but weeks later she was arrested on a DUI charge that made the local papers. Raising a champagne glass, she announced to her friends at the country club, “I’m not giving up drinking, I’m giving up drunkenness.” But for someone who suffers from addiction, that’s seldom an option and soon there was another arrest. She proclaimed at a charity luncheon that she had a solution: she’d give up driving. She did, and one day her driver delivered her home after a wine tasting and she tumbled down the stairs, landing at the feet of her young son, who was afraid she had died but was terrified of “getting Mommy in trouble”. I once heard someone say “I didn’t hit my bottom until I put down the shovel and stopped digging”. All the private cars and expensive lawyers and big fat alimony payments simply delayed the inevitable. One of the biggest obstacles to recovery is exceptionalism. “It’s part of doing business.” “I could stop if I wanted to.” “Everyone drinks this way.” “What would my friends think?” “I don’t drink at home.” “I only drink at home.” “A.A. wouldn’t work for me.”

A.A. is not for everyone. While 12-step programs can be invaluable to some, they are not the only way to achieve sobriety. There are many alternatives and a good recovery coach can help you explore multiple pathways to recovery. Your coach is a cheerleader and an ally, but also an advocate and resource broker. Detox facilities, treatment centers, therapists, medication, support groups...it can all seem overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. A recovery coach helps to remove the obstacles and simplify the options, and will serve as a companion, confidante, personal guide and mentor. Many of us say: “My drinking life was fun. Then it was fun with consequences. And then it was just consequences.” You can get off that down elevator before it hits the ground floor. Look at your consequences. Ask for help. And put down the shovel.